[one_third]At the age of twenty-seven, she had had three stillbirths during her marriage. Losing a child at whatever stage – be it a miscariage stillborn or an after-birth death, can be a very traumatic experience. What was more disheartening was that she never had the opportunity to have a send-off for her first child, after having carried him for nine months; only to be told that
he was no more! “It made it very difficult for me to find closure, even today my heart bleeds when I think of him,” says Slindile Maphumulo in a grief-stricken voice.[/one_third]
[one_third]Slindile, like any other young woman, got married with dreams of starting a family, but her journey towards achieving this wasn’t a rosy one. After losing her first baby, she fell pregnant again, in 2012. “It was the happiest time of my life. I didn’t have any complications during the pregnancy until a couple of days before delivery. I noticed that the baby wasn’t moving. My husband rushed me to the hospital and again I lost another life,” says Slindile.
“On hearing the news, I was shattered. I kept on whispering to myself with tears flowing endlessly – ‘no it can’t be it can’t be’. I started blaming myself. [/one_third]
[one_third]The pain was unbearable. This was by far the hardest time of my life. The anger and the grief overcame me – I lost myself. I kept on asking myself, ‘why me? Why me Lord?’ I started to blame my husband and the family. In my mind only one thing was going on – witchcraft! I just could not understand why,” Slindile explained. The grieving process wasn’t an easy one. One day I decided that I had lived with this pain for too long. I started to attend church services, which played a huge role towards my healing.[/one_third]
[one_second]I went on to forgive myself and to forgive those who I had blamed for my misfortunes. I was also open to going for counselling. I had regained my life. Life continued. “In 2013 I fell pregnant again, this time I decided not tell my husband. I decided that it would be a great idea for me to terminate the pregnancy as I didn’t want the same thing to happen; history would repeat itself. I knew that I would not be able to handle it. Indeed, I woke up one morning and went to the nearest hospital to enquire about the termination of my pregnancy. I was attended to by a gracious doctor, he asked me my reasons for wanting to terminate and I told him why. He counselled me and sent me away to rethink my decision.” I took his advice and kept my baby, and by God’s grace this one lived. I cannot forget the bittersweet feeling that I had when lying on the theatre bed I heard him cry. I wept, looking back on where I had come from and the pain that I had experienced.[/one_second]
[one_second]Slindile, has had a great ordeal in life, being a young woman and a young wife. It made it very difficult for her to deal with and to understand her situation. The pain, the grief, the loss of self-worth – all these feelings flooded over her.Her pain and experience did not rest with her. She decided to open an organisation called Empty Handzzz – she named it as such because of her experience – “I went to the hospital pregnant and came back with empty hands.” This organisation helps those who have gone through the same thing as she did. She supports them emotionally and if they don’t have the means to bury their stillborn, she also assists them with that. She also supports those who are pregnant and are needy, with food parcels. “A bad diet can be the cause of a stillborn child.” “I don’t wish this on anyone,” she said. [/one_second]