By: Nonkcubeko Mkwalo
The phrase ‘actions speak louder than words’ plays a really important role, when it comes to understanding how a person feels based on their body language. Body language is the way the human body communicates, which tells us more about the person’s feelings without them having to say a word. However, there are different types of body languages that people demonstrate, which they might be unaware of. Scholar Karin Gonzalez and the (Mediterranean Journal of Social Sciences) highlighted the different types of behaviours people tend to show, if they have a negative body language.
Negative body language is the unconscious or conscious expression of negative emotions or feelings through a person’s body movements, which means that it’s possible that an individual might or might not be aware of their negative body language behaviour. Being able to take note and pick up any signs of negative body language, can assist in identifying how you (yourself) or another person feels at that specific moment. Here are some types of different behaviour patterns that show you have a negative body language:
Crossing/ folding your arms
Having your arms crossed when you’re either sitting on your own, or with a group of people can give out a sense of hostility; discomfort; separateness and defensiveness. This is all an unconscious creation of a barrier and distance between yourself, and the people you’re with- which can cause a great misunderstanding and miscommunication. Practicing speaking with your arms on the side, can indicate a sense of comfort, friendliness and openness.
Avoiding eye contact
Maintaining zero eye contact with the person you’re having a conversation with, makes you seem dishonest, uninterested and untrustworthy. If you’re having a discussion with someone, yet you keep avoiding eye contact- this makes them feel as though you’re not paying attention and they’re not taken seriously. Keeping eye contact is important when you are both listening, and talking to the person. This creates a sense of engagement, as it also makes you appear as confident and trustworthy.
Fidgeting
Whether you’re fiddling with your hands, tapping your foot, playing with your hair or shuffling papers as a way to make yourself feel more comfortable- fidgeting is not a good idea when you’re around one or more people. Being busy with something else while conversing with someone, comes across as anxious, distracted, bored and dishonest. It’s normal to gesture when you speak, but always remember to keep it at an acceptable level.
Constantly checking your watch/phone
Listen, having the urge to keep checking your watch or phone is something natural. However, you have to learn to resist it when you’re around people, because it gives out the impression that you have more important things to do, and you want to leave. If you have a reason for checking your phone, make sure you alert the person and make them understand why you need to keep track of the time.
Hiding your hands
It’s common to keep your hands behind your back or in your pocket, when you’re standing with people- but it does send out a bad message. This creates a sense of uncomfort for the people who are with you, as they might think you have something to hide. It’s advisable to learn to keep your hands where they are visible at all times, so that people around you gain a sense of trust and comfort.
Leaning back
Leaning back on your seat or chair does feel comfortable, but it delivers the wrong message to the people around you. This body language comes across as offensive to other people, because in as much as you’re relaxed and comfortable- to them it might seem as though you’re daydreamy and dismissive of what they have to say. Sitting up straight, without slouching is a good way to show people that they have your full attention.
Invading personal space
We all have different preferences when it comes to personal space. Being too close to someone just because you’re having a conversation, can make the other person uncomfortable. It’s important to remember to respect a person’s personal space, so that they don’t presume that you’re a creep or threat.
Being aware of the do’s and don’ts when it comes to body languages, will help you understand and avoid certain habits when you’re around people. Now that you know about these behaviour habits, it’s easier to be on the lookout for people with the same body languages!
