We often wonder about what goes on in a man’s mind. What do they want? It is no mistake that God wired us differently, in fact I wonder if we were the same would that be better – would there be any fun in that, inasmuch as we don’t fully understand each other, that this mystery on its own is exciting. For this issue we went to find out from men the ten things that they wanted their partners to know.
Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected
Men need to know that they are respected both privately and publicly. They also thrive when they know that their women trust them, admire them and believe in them. In research conducted by Shaunti Feldhahn, one of the findings were that men would rather lose the sense of being loved by you than for you to disrespect them.
Men may become angry when they feel disrespected but at the same time they do not come out and say, “You’re disrespecting me!” However, there is a good likelihood that a man will feel that he is being stung by something that you have done, which he considers disrespectful and humiliating.
Men are insecure
On this one you may be puzzled. Men are afraid that they aren’t cutting it in life — not just at work, but at home as well – in their role as a husband. They may never voice this, but deep down, they are secretly vulnerable. So constant affirmation from their wives is everything! If they don’t receive this affirmation, they’ll seek it elsewhere, but when they receive regular and genuine affirmation from their wives (not flattery, by the way), they become much more secure and confident in all areas of their lives.
Intellectually, it doesn’t matter how much or how little a man earns, or whether his wife earns more or even less money than he does. Men simply bear the emotional burden of providing for their family. It’s not a burden that they’ve chosen to bear, but they are simply wired that way. The best thing you can do to alleviate this burden is through a healthy dose of appreciation, encouragement and support.
Men want sex and more sex
Everyone’s natural response to this is probably, “Duh!” We usually assume that men want to have more sex with their wives due to their physical wiring, but, surprisingly, men want more sex because of their strong need to be desired by their wives. They simply need to be wanted. So, regular and fulfilling sex is critical to a man’s sense of feeling loved and desired.
It gives them an increasing sense of confidence and well-being that carries over into every other area of their lives. By contrast, when a husband feels rejected sexually, he not only feels his wife is rejecting him physically, but that she is somehow rejecting his role as a husband, provider and man. Therefore having sex is a priority in a marriage and is so incredibly important!
Men care about their wives appearance
Men struggle with visual temptation and they care about their wives appearance. This doesn’t mean that all men want their wives to look like the latest supermodel. What men want is to know that their wives are trying to take care of themselves (and not letting themselves go) because it matters to them. They appreciate the efforts that their wives make to maintain their attractiveness, since the clear majority of men respond to visual images, when it comes to women.
And, this doesn’t just mean the guys with wandering eyes.
Even if it is just a glance, these visual images are stored away in the male brain as a sort of “visual rolodex,” that will reappear without any warning. Men can choose whether to dwell on these images and memories or dismiss them, but they can’t control it when these images appear.
Men enjoy romance but doubt their skills to be romantic
Apparently, it is every man’s desire to be romantic, but they just doubt their ability to pull it off. They are overwhelmed by internal hesitations, perceiving that the risk of humiliation and failure as too high. So, you can do a great deal to increase your husband’s confidence in their romantic skills, through encouragement and redefining what romance is. For example, you may draw back when he asks you to go along to the hardware store, but it’s likely that he’s asking you as he sees it as a time when you can get away as a couple and hang out together. What’s not romantic about that?
Lastly, men want their wives to know how much they love them
Mmm! this is something! Men aren’t confident in their ability to express their love for you, but they do love you. They dearly do want to express how much they love you and they long for you to understand this fact.
